Congratulations Hun!! Your friend must think very highly of you. It’s hard enough for the bride to choose a small group of women to stand at her side but to pick that one special person, the one that will lead the group, is a huge honour…hence the title.
Being an MOH comes with expectations from the bride and those that will see you during the planning stages and on the wedding day. That’s right, people will also be watching you.
The title also comes with expenses. An MOH can spend anywhere from $300.00 to $1000.00+. The totals will all depend on formality of the wedding, cultural background, size of wedding, your dress, bridesmaid’s participation and your budget.
If there is any reason why the two of you should not be joined as bride and MOH, speak now or forever hold your peace. Meaning, if you don’t have the time or money, there’s nothing wrong with backing down. Talk to the bride about your concerns…after all, she’s your best friend.
- Go wedding gown shopping with the bride and be honest when she steps out of the changing room.
- Help select bridesmaid’s dresses, pay for your dress & accessories.
- Call all the bridesmaids when it’s time for shopping and fittings.
- Help address invitations.
- Help wrap and tag guest favours/Bombonniere.
- Host a bridal shower or stagette with other bridesmaids. If one of the mom’s is hosting, lend a hand where needed.
- Address and send shower invitations.
- Take RSVP’s for shower.
- Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
- Help decorate ceremony and reception locations if necessary.
- Helps the bride get dressed on her wedding day.
- It’s your duty to make sure the bride’s veil and train looks nice before and during the ceremony. The photographer can’t stop taking pictures during this time and he/she can’t go up on the altar to straighten out the bride…only you can. Guests will expect this from you.
- Holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
- Keeps the groom’s wedding ring until the ring exchange, unless the best man or ring bearer are holding them.
- Stand in the receiving line (optional).
- Will sit to the bride’s right at the reception.
- Signs the marriage certificate as a witness.
- Bustles the bride’s train before reception begins.
- Dance with the best man.
- Help the best man bring the gifts to the bride and groom’s home
- Help with clean up after reception.
The content of your speech can contain, thanking the couple for the honour, some thank you that the bride has requested you to make(most brides don’t make a speech), stories about the bride and your friendship.
Your speech can be anywhere between 3 to 5 minutes in length and if you’re married to the best man you can do a speech together.
Greet the guests and introduce yourself, “Hi my name is Cathy and I’m Mary’s maid of honour and sister. It means so much to me to be given this privilege, tonight. Thank you Joey and Mary.”
Thank people that have helped with the wedding planning, decorating, cooking, etc. Mention them by name and get them to stand up so that everyone can see who they are. “I’d also like to thank Mrs. Smith for making all the centrepieces and Aunt Lucy for making the bridal party’s dresses.”
Talk about your relationship, “It seems like yesterday that we were having a tea party on the table our dad built for us and now I’m giving a speech at my sister’s wedding. We were quite a handful as children…” Add a kid story, teen years story and talk about the first time you heard about this new guy.
Mention the groom, “My sister couldn’t have gotten a nicer guy, if I went and picked him out myself.” Talk about how much the bride loves her husband and let everyone know about something you’ve witnessed between the couple or something the bride has told you in confidence about him.
End with something sentimental and a toast to the bride, the groom or her mother. “Not only is Mary my sister but she’s my best friend. I wish Mary and Joey, health, happiness and love in the future. I’d like to propose a toast to our mother, who has been there for us from the beginning and never complained about anything, she taught Mary how to cook and clean. And no one was happier or prouder when Mary got her college degree. To the best mom anyone could ask for, you’re one in a million, Cheers!”
That’s about it, you’re the only one that can put that special touch in your speech to give it that extra meaning for the bride. If you’re nervous have a glass of wine but don’t get drunk. Make sure when you’re giving your speech that you look at the people that you’re talking to or about and make sure you’re speaking loud enough so that everyone can hear you. Remember your posture and if you’re using cue cards put them in the correct order before you get up to the microphone.